{"id":2126,"date":"2012-07-10T19:01:55","date_gmt":"2012-07-11T02:01:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.uiargonaut.com\/?p=2126"},"modified":"2024-10-03T14:06:17","modified_gmt":"2024-10-03T21:06:17","slug":"horoscopes-11","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.uiargonaut.com\/2012\/07\/10\/horoscopes-11\/","title":{"rendered":"Horoscopes"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Aries<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>March 21 \u2013 April 19<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>There&#8217;s only room for one horseman and everyone knows you have the rabbit&#8217;s watch. Give it back before the queen offs you at the neck and the roses turn back to white.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Taurus<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>April 20 \u2013 May 20<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It may not have worked out for TomKat but The Biebster and Miss Gomez are still going strong so don&#8217;t lose all hope. Love is a battlefield, baby.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Gemini<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>May 21 \u2013 June 21<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>You go Glen Coco! There&#8217;s a twenty percent chance that it&#8217;s already raining so go run around barefoot for a while because Mother Nature loves you.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Cancer<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>June 22 \u2013 July 22<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>In recent breaking news, the actors who played the Weasley twins have returned to their roots and gone back to brunette. Follow the leads of Fred and George and visit the family. If nothing else, give Black Thought and Questlove another chance.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Leo<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>July 23 \u2013 Aug 22<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t get too crazy with the pick-up lines this month. No one wants to hear about the banana in your pocket or the length of your arm. Here&#8217;s my number. Call me maybe?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Virgo<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Aug 23 \u2013 Sept 22<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Beards may be back but tame that shrub on your face and you might join the ranks of the employed. For the ladies&#8230;his lack of professionalism is a sign that he may be the type to let the love fern die.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Libra<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Sept 23 \u2013 Oct 22<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Your little stunt is going viral and we&#8217;re not talking about your YouTube shenanigans. Seriously\u2026you might want to have that checked out.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Scorpio<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Oct 24 \u2013 Nov 21<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Tom Riddle called. He wants his diary back and the rest of us would appreciate it if you stopped trying to speak Parsel-tongue. You think you can do these things but you just can&#8217;t, Nemo.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Sagittarius<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Nov 22 \u2013 Dec 21<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s wedding season but you can&#8217;t force someone to do something they don&#8217;t want to do. Too bad no one let Sandusky in on that little tidbit. Or did they?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Capricorn<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dec 22 \u2013 Jan 19<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If you&#8217;re not first, you&#8217;re last. Get back in the NASCAR and cross the metaphorical finish line before your best friend steals your life. Hide yo&#8217; kids, hide yo&#8217; wife.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Aquarius<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Jan 20 \u2013 Feb 18<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>There are no monopolies in the game of Life. But there are babies and mini vans. Be careful what you wish for, work hard for what you want and don&#8217;t worry too much about the chutes. They&#8217;re more fun than the ladders anyway.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Pisces<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Feb 19 \u2013 March 20<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It may be 5 o&#8217;clock somewhere, but it&#8217;s also 8 a.m. somewhere and the earth isn&#8217;t turning in slower. Hang up the Elmo slippers, give mother back her robe and make your own PB&amp;J. It&#8217;s time to be a big kid.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Aries March 21 \u2013 April 19 There&#8217;s only room for one horseman and everyone knows you have the rabbit&#8217;s watch. Give it back before the queen offs you at the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.uiargonaut.com\/2012\/07\/10\/horoscopes-11\/\" rel=\"nofollow\">[&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":33,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ub_ctt_via":"","_EventAllDay":false,"_EventTimezone":"","_EventStartDate":"","_EventEndDate":"","_EventStartDateUTC":"","_EventEndDateUTC":"","_EventShowMap":false,"_EventShowMapLink":false,"_EventURL":"","_EventCost":"","_EventCostDescription":"","_EventCurrencySymbol":"","_EventCurrencyCode":"","_EventCurrencyPosition":"","_EventDateTimeSeparator":"","_EventTimeRangeSeparator":"","_EventOrganizerID":[],"_EventVenueID":[],"_OrganizerEmail":"","_OrganizerPhone":"","_OrganizerWebsite":"","_VenueAddress":"","_VenueCity":"","_VenueCountry":"","_VenueProvince":"","_VenueState":"","_VenueZip":"","_VenuePhone":"","_VenueURL":"","_VenueStateProvince":"","_VenueLat":"","_VenueLng":"","_VenueShowMap":false,"_VenueShowMapLink":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23742],"tags":[76],"featured_image_src":null,"author_info":{"display_name":"Kaitlyn Krasselt","author_link":"https:\/\/www.uiargonaut.com\/author\/kaitlyn-krasselt\/"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.uiargonaut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2126"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.uiargonaut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.uiargonaut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.uiargonaut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/33"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.uiargonaut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2126"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.uiargonaut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2126\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":196075,"href":"https:\/\/www.uiargonaut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2126\/revisions\/196075"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.uiargonaut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2126"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.uiargonaut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2126"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.uiargonaut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2126"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}