So, you use lists to remember everything. Got a date? On the list. Have homework to do? To the list. Have arrands and you must just remember everything you need to do in town before coming back home? Added to the list. Clearly you will never forget anything going on in life like this. Wrong! Where else did you think this article was going? Stop it, put that list down. You know why you’re so forgetful? It’s because of those lists. You never give your brain a chance to flex its memory muscle and so it never develops. Here I will give you some other reasons to stop making lists and I’ll show you by making a list of my own.
1. Lists are tedious. Look I’m already bored just showing you why lists are bad by using lists.
2. Lists cause intense self-psychological damage. You must start your list at one, so low, my list feels so incomplete with just these two items. But shouldn’t it be a good thing that my list is almost done? No! It clearly needs to be long and worth completion. It must forever be added on so that I never achieve a sense of accomplishment.
3. Lists are inherently extremely counter-productive. My list will continue to grow, and I now must force myself to disconnect from the thing I made that was supposed to be a convenience to my life. Otherwise, stress will set in. Didn’t I start this to not be stressed out about life? But now I’m just thinking about my list! I know, I’ll just disconnect from my list I made to help me remember by not thinking about it. This is so much effort just to not use my brain.
4. Lists are all consuming. It’s never enough to have just one list. You can’t expect to make a list and then remember what is important about the list. No see we already talked about how our memory isn’t getting any more power in this list making endeavor. So, what do we need to do? That’s right, make more lists. Color-coordinated lists, lists for inside chores, list for outside chores, daily to-do lists because you can’t remember a damn thing. Specific days of the week lists like “the Saturday list”. A perfectly curated what to do on Saturday list. Why look at anything ever again when you can just consult your various lists. Hello? Do you even see me anymore or are you just cultivating your list aesthetic?
5. Lists have a holier than thou attitude. Look at that list over there, just sitting on the table. It knows that you don’t know the perfect Saturday. I mean sure you made the “Saturday list” but do you remember what’s on it? Or does the list remind you what to do on Saturdays? The list knows the answer is you don’t know anything. That in fact you need the list for your ability to recall. Also, the list mockingly always sitting there on the table. Whispering at you, “Why don’t you finish me? Why aren’t their more lines crossed out on me?” Shut up list! I had a rough day! I can’t get to everything!
Look at all this compartmentalizing I have caused myself in my mind just so that I can ease the burden of memory on myself. So much internal fighting so that I can have the appearance of being put together. The cost is just too high, it’s so much easier to accept that memory isn’t fluid. It’s more like a fog, it’s dense, heavy and can be hard to see through. But that works in the reverse. Even though it feels like you’re lost in all the fog once you get close enough your memories become clear as day.
Richard Simmons can be reached at [email protected]