A name may seem trivial to people who have gone by their legal name their whole lives. But for those at University of Idaho who go by another name, who are forced to use a deadname on university platforms like BlackboardLearn and VandalWeb, names are incredibly important.
UI is investigating ways to allow the use of preferred names on BbLearn and VandalWeb, but for now, even if a student has socially transitioned and is using a different name in class, they must use their legal name on discussion boards on BbLearn.
“It makes life hard, just because you’re forced to out yourself,” Carson Poertner, a former UI student athlete, said.
Poertner, who originally came to UI after being recruited for the soccer team, has used BbLearn since socially transitioning. His deadname would loom over him when he had to answer questions on discussion boards. The day after answering one question, his professors decided the answers would be projected in front of the class and each student would talk about their responses.
“While I was presenting, being Carson, I had my deadname up in front of the entire class,” Poertner said.
As Poertner was getting ready to present, he wondered what to do.
“Do I just flat out ignore it? Do I out myself and say that I’m a (transgender) man… and potentially have to worry about my physical safety, let alone the negative mental and emotional impact it has?” Poertner said. “There’s always potential for someone to find out I’m a trans man, and (for there to be) potential physical violence.”
In general, Poertner said he feels safe in Moscow and at UI. He recognized he has “tremendous privilege” as a white man, but he still said the fear of physical harm is “always in the back of your head.”
That day in class, as thoughts raced through his mind, Poertner chose to ignore the deadname.
“I just tried to pretend that it wasn’t up there, and then just continued to present and made it as quick as possible,” Poertner said. He has since legally changed his name, so his deadname is no longer on BbLearn or VandalWeb, but the effect of that moment lingered. It discouraged Poertner from participating in the class for the rest of the semester.
Pepper Brisset, a first-year student with a black belt, is motivated by karate, having been an instructor for three years and a student for five.
Brisset said she particularly enjoys karate for the “group of people having a mindset of improving a little bit every day, and eventually, you’ll become something great.”
Brisset goes through the line at The Hub often since she’s on a meal plan, each time swiping her Vandal Card. The hole-punched card hangs on a lanyard she wears so she doesn’t have to stuff it away in a pocket.
Before last year, Vandal Cards were only printed with legal names. Now, students can apply to change their name on Vandal Cards. Brisset uses her preferred name on her Vandal Card, which she sees most often when interacting with UI’s systems.
“Every time I pull it out and I see the name I want to be called, it makes me feel happy,” Brisset said.
Brisset doesn’t expect everyone around her to get her name right.
“Nobody should expect you to be perfect,” Brisset said. “I don’t expect you to get stuff right every time.”
But putting in the effort to refer to people the way they want to be referred to “can really make their day,” Brisset said. “I’ve had that happen a couple of times where someone working at the cafeteria or. one of my teachers referred to me using my chosen name or pronouns, and it got me out of a kind-of bad mental state.”
Bee Kemp, who studies history and political science at UI, is particularly “fascinated with American history and American politics because they have a lot of impact on (their) life.”
Getting food and having a deadname associated with UI accounts has been an uncomfortable experience, as those serving food would call Kemp the name they saw on their Vandal Card.
“It’s awkward for me, because I feel bad not correcting them, and I feel awkward trying to correct them,” Kemp said.
Kemp said they think the people they’re with are cognizant of deadnaming, though.
Despite restrictions on other platforms, having a preferred name in a digital classroom has been easier, Kemp said.
“It’s made a little easier by the fact that you can change your nickname in Zoom, so I change my nickname to Bee,” Kemp said.
For Kemp, saying someone’s preferred name is “a sign of respect, (and) a sign of acknowledgment, that we are still valued as people.”
According to Dan Ewart, the director of of UI’s Information Technology Services, a task force working towards the full implementation of preferred names across campus was prioritized in October. Jason Swanby, who has been assigned as the project manager, and Lauren Carlsen, president of ASUI, are working to estimate when implementation will be complete and what steps will be needed to get there, Ewart said.
“On the whole, I think the university is making an effort, and I really appreciate that,” Kemp said.
This article has been edited to clarify that Poertner is a former student athlete.
Cody Roberts can be reached at [email protected] or on Twitter @CodyRobReports.