Earlier this August, legislation which barred Idahoans from changing the gender markers on their birth certificates was found to be in violation of the Equal Protection Clause of the Constitution. While I’m glad the District Court of Idaho ruled against the legislation, I’m unhappy the legislation was ever considered in the first place.
I’ve struggled with acknowledging and coping with gender-based dysphoria my entire life. When I came to college, I gave up on trying to explain myself to people. I let everyone call me “Alexis” instead of “Alex” or “Lex” and “she” instead of “they.” I just took it in stride, growing my hair long to seem more feminine.
God, did it hurt.
Even the little things most people may not think about often, like what sex you’ll write on an upcoming application, can weigh on the brains of non-cisgender people constantly.
As a nonbinary person with several transgender friends, dealing with dysphoria and fighting so the world will see you as you are — a person as human and deserving of equal rights as anyone else — has become an everyday occurrence.
I’m tired of being called the wrong name, the wrong pronouns, having to wear the wrong outfits, style my hair wrong and ignore the parts of me that want to claw their way into the light most. I’m tired of the world not seeing me as me, an experience shared by many other non-cisgender people.
Being able to legally change which gender you write on a federal form may seem insignificant to some, but it’s really, really not. It means others in the world need to acknowledge you as a person, regardless of what they think about you. That little sliver of affirmation is everything.
The rolled back legislation, House Bill 509, prohibited people from changing gender markers on their birth certificates. The sex listed on documents such as birth certificates can affect how the individual applies for driver’s licenses, passports, insurance, healthcare and more.
While it can be easier to leave the marker as what you were assigned at birth, the frustration and dysphoria it can cause the non-cisgender individual (and the confusion it can cause to those who can see the disconnect between how the person presents themselves and their documented gender) can be too much to bear.
I’ve dealt with that discomfort up to this point. As I get older, I don’t know how long it’ll take before I crack and not being able to present myself the way I am hurts me on a much, much deeper level.
I’m glad the district court ruled against House Bill 509, I really am, but I’m upset this bill got as far as it did. Changing a gender marker doesn’t harm anyone. It shouldn’t impact the lives of anyone outside of the person who wants to change the marker. To anyone else, it’s such a small and insignificant change. It shouldn’t matter. So why police it?
Because this country still inherently values transphobic people over the lives, sanity and comfort of non-cisgender people. Until we’re able to nip that cultural atrocity in the bud, non-cisgender people will be battling things like this bill along with everyday transphobic actions and comments the rest of our lives.
Lex Miller can be reached at [email protected]