Vaginismus, a word I didn’t learn until a few years ago, has answered questions to discomfort I’ve had since I was in the sixth grade. Vaginismus is characterized by muscles spasms in the pelvic floor muscles of women. It causes discomfort with any insertion in the vagina from inserting a tampon, having a pelvic exam or any type of sexual activity.
When I was in sixth grade, I got my first period. Like many girls, my mom taught me how to use tampons. I was clueless and had no idea what I was doing. I think I spent an hour trying to insert a tampon without any luck.
I spent middle and high school embarrassed when other girls would make fun of me for wearing a pad instead of a tampon (which is a whole other issue regarding shaming women and their periods). I couldn’t go to pool parties when I was on my period, having made excuses as to why I suddenly couldn’t go.
It wasn’t until I received a pap smear that I finally got some help. I was sitting on the table during my exam crying my eyes out, when my doctor asked me if I knew what vaginismus was. Before she finished the exam, she knew I had it.
I have spent the last few years trying to get treatment for my vaginismus. I’ve tried various forms of treatment including physical therapy, using dilators and almost anything you can think of. There are a variety of statistics regarding women with vaginismus.
What I’ve heard is it affects between five to 17% of women, but because of the stigma regarding this disorder and the lack of wanting to talk about it, the number could be much higher. Not having clear statistics makes it even more lonely because you’re not entirely sure how many other women face this. You wonder if this is something that will go away eventually or if that’s the way things will always be.
No one likes to talk about their sexual discomforts, especially if they’ve never had a positive sexual experience. Even though it’s something I don’t like to talk about most of the time, I think it needs to change.
I’m nervous to reveal this extremely vulnerable part of my life, but I think that it needs more attention. Not just vaginismus, but treatment to pelvic pain disorders. Even though I was told what vaginismus was right away, no doctor has been able to tell me how to treat it.
I have been told doctors have no idea what the cause of this disorder is, and they have no idea how to treat it, this is very disheartening when it comes to any type of medical diagnosis. It’s like being told you finally have an answer to something, but nothing will ever get better or change for you and there’s no definitive answer as to why you have it.
Educate yourself on these issues and how often it affects women. If you are a woman facing this type of pain, don’t just sit back quietly and wonder if this is something that’s never going to go away. Keep fighting for the answers.
Nicole Hindberg can be reached at [email protected] or on Twitter@HindbergNicole.