Have you ever considered how weird crying is?
You feel overwhelming emotions which trigger a gland in your eyes to release salty liquid. Your nose starts to run and you hiccup uncontrollably.
You essentially lose control of your body, all because you felt sad.
That is the beauty of a cry. A good, uncontrollable, ugly cry is cathartic in a way nothing else is. It’s an exorcism of feelings that resets your body.
Griffen Winget | Argonaut
Yet, there is a stigma around crying, especially between the genders.
Women are delicate and fragile, so they get to cry because they can’t handle their emotions.
Men are tough and emotionally stunted. They can’t afford to cry because it’s not manly, therefore they keep it bottled up.
I don’t think the stereotypes are this bad anymore, it’s 2018 after-all, but we still feel their ramifications.
It is important to defy the stereotypes, on either side and allow yourself to express those emotions however you feel comfortable.
Too often, we don’t allow ourselves the times to cope or flesh out what we are feeling. Instead, we push it to the side and tell ourselves we will deal with it later, then never do. Crying in front of others is difficult for both parties.
On one side, the person crying has lost the ability to care about how they act and has given in to their emotions. On the other, you are in an awkward position of trying to help but not knowing how. Do you comfort them? What if they want to be alone? But if you leave them alone they might think you’re judging them.
It’s tough.
From my experience, the best way to handle someone crying is to offer physical reassurance.
A hug if you’re close to them, but even a hand on the shoulder or back says a lot.
Most of all, do not speak. They don’t care about what you have to say. This moment is entirely theirs.
Let the cry run its course and then you can talk but only if they want to.
Emotions are fickle, this advice goes for almost every feeling someone can have.
Bottling your feelings up is not conducive to a healthy life. This includes the uglier emotions like anger, hate and everything else that leads to the dark side. While the Jedi Council may have cautioned against letting them out, I’d argue it’s the best option if it’s constructive.
Beating up on a punching bag for an hour is better than stewing in your anger for an entire day.
The last bit of advice I have is don’t let your emotions control you. There is a difference between catharsis and lack of restraint.
It’s important to know when it is ok to let your emotions out and when to acknowledge them but keep them reigned in. This doesn’t mean you’re bottling them up, it means you understand what you’re feeling and that this isn’t the best time to show it.
Don’t be like the Jedi Council, accept that what you feel is natural and begin learning how to deal with it.
Griffen Winget can be reached at [email protected]