We are the product of our environments.
We soak up the atmosphere we spend the most time in. When someone spends time in the sun, they get burnt — when someone spends time around negative people, they become more negative.
From birth, humans are like sponges, soaking up everything around them. Even science agrees that humans are like sponges. University of Queensland School of Biological Sciences researcher Dr. Milos Tanurdzic found that sea sponges use a complex gene regulation toolkit similar to humans in a 2017 study. We are literally like sponges. Without realizing it, we conform to our surroundings, good or bad.
One of the biggest influencers of success, happiness and health is friends. Often, friends aren’t intentionally chosen, they just sort of happen without much thought. Do you hang out with people just because you already know them or because it’s easy? Or do you go out of your way to find new people who inspire and encourage you?
What if we intentionally and deliberately chose our friends?
Andrew Brand | Argonaut
This shouldn’t be an excuse to write people off because we’re judging them too harshly, it’s simply being intentional with our time and effort. You don’t have to be friends with everyone. You can love someone and not be friends with them. We should love everyone, but we don’t have to particularly like them all.
Are you influencing others or being influenced by others? There are certain people in our lives who have a strong influence on us, while other people are strongly influenced by us. Distinguishing between the two is important. Jim Rohn, an entrepreneur, author and motivational speaker, said you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. It can be helpful to take a moment to think about who those five people are.
Are the people around you holding you back or propelling you towards your potential? Do they inspire and encourage you to reach your goals and fulfill your dreams?
The ancient proverb writer and king of Israel, Solomon, said as iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. Friends should encourage, challenge and love each other. Friendship shouldn’t be one sided.
Both parties should be helpful and encouraging. Discover what you value, then surround yourself with people who value the same things. Be picky with who you spend time with. It’s great to be motivated to reach goals, but it’s better to have someone who will partner with you in achieving those goals. If you want to be successful, hang out with people who you see as successful. If you want to be more disciplined and ambitious, spend time with people who are.
As fun as it might be to hang out with some of your friends, do you really want to acquire their character and demeanor?
Maybe it’s time to take a step back in certain relationships, while branching out and discovering new ones, because real friendship is worth the effort.
Andrew Brand can be reached at [email protected] or on Twitter @theandrewbrand