In my last two years as a college student, I have learned — slowly but surely — how to be an adult of sorts without my mom by my side.
Don’t get me wrong, there have been countless phone calls regarding the simple things like recipes, laundry and birthday reminders. I’ve also spent endless hours venting, whining and babbling about life with my mother. Let’s just say Snapchat and FaceTime are lifesavers when it comes to keeping in touch with each other.
The 300-mile drive between us may seem like a short jaunt for some, but often it seems like a cross-country trip. It wasn’t all that long ago that my mom was the first person I talked to in the morning and the last person I talked to at night. She was and still is my very best friend.
But, most college students, like myself, are thrust into a whole new world, usually without the guidance of their parents. It is scary, exciting and stressful.
However, as much as I need my mom, I have learned how to be my own person by relying first on myself and those around me. And, when I do need some guidance, my mom is just a phone call away.
There are days when our schedules don’t coincide to video chat or make time for a quick phone call. Life can get busy. So, I look to the other mothers in my life — the aunts, grandmothers, sisters, cousins, friends and even my dad.
It might seem odd to call those people “other mothers,” but if we think about a general idea of what a mom is — a caring, dependable and understanding person — then anyone can fill the mom role. It just takes some searching.
When we think about moms, it is easy to think about just our own, but grandmothers and aunts can be just as close. Sometimes a conversation or a catch-up session with my grandma or aunt is a great way to get that guidance that I look for in my mom. They are often our earliest babysitters and playmates. Grandmothers are sometimes the most experienced moms, making their care and guidance just as great.
Then there are the sisters in our lives. My sister is basically a younger, shorter replica of my mom. So, when I’m in need of some mom-like conversation, sometimes my sister is one of the first people I talk to. She, although younger than me, can often give the best advice. Siblings are the people who know us best, and can fill the role of a mother better than one would think.
After being away from home and in a new town for quite some time now, I have made new friends — a group of people that have become a second family. A mom doesn’t have to be someone older or related to you. It can be someone like a friend. In a friend, it is easy to find the things that are comforting, caring or mom-like.
While it would seem fitting that a mom-like figure would be female, dads can also be great moms. It may sound like a contradiction, but fathers can also be just as caring, dependable and understanding as mothers.
A mom can be anyone. After all, it is the idea, character and attributes of a mom that make us think of moms in the first place. What makes a mom is not just biology or gender or closeness.
After spending Moms’ Weekend with my own mom, I realized that we have become friends just as much as we are mother and daughter. I also found that there are many “moms” in my life, who I never would have imagined filling a mom-like role.
Being on one’s own can be tricky, so having a mom around, traditional and non-traditional, is a part of growing up.
Hailey Stewart can be reached at [email protected]