Obtaining good grades, a degree from a good school and a good job are just a few common sources of agony for college students, but there are a lot of other things that can cause someone to feel pressure.
Marriage shouldn”t be one of them.
The second half of the millennial generation, those who fit into the typical college age bracket, is at the time in their lives when marriage is on the table.
I see engagement announcements on my Facebook feed left and right. When these engagements involve people who are still in college or have recently graduated high school, a common reaction occurs. What usually follows is “some random number of reasons why getting married young is a good idea,” posted on their page soon after the announcement.
Katelyn Hilsenbeck
But why? Why do people who get married young have to defend their choice?
A disclaimer is necessary here – This July, I, too, am getting married young.
Because of my decision to marry young, I understand why others feel the need to defend their decision. Young couples constantly have to combat the perception that just because they”re young they aren”t ready to get married. This perception can come from the couple”s family or even from strangers on the street.
When someone sees a ring on my finger, they ask me if I”m engaged – always with a shocked expression.
However, if we look at the average age of marriage in the U.S. from 1890-2010, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, the data makes a U-shaped curve.
In 1890, the median age of marriage was 26 for men and 22 for women. In 1950, the median ages were just below 24 and just above 20, respectively. In 2010, the ages reach a new height – approximately 29 and 27, respectively.
My grandmother, 93, is accepting of young love. This might be because she was married young, or because the median ages were on a downward slope when she was married.
When those born in the “60s were graduating from high school, marriage ages were the highest they had been in nearly 80 years. I”ve seen a lot of people from this age group take a negative stance on people marrying young. Still, the opinions of my grandmother or those born in the “60s don”t necessarily represent the attitudes of their generations. That would be a gross oversimplification.
Generally, people live longer than they did in the 1900s. Does this mean we should wait longer to wed to maintain the proportion of spending one-third of our lives single? There”s no simple answer.
As times change, so do the social norms. In 50 years, we could be back to the lower marriage ages of the “50s and “60s.
Only the couple knows the quality of their relationship. Marriage is a big decision and should be made without focusing on the societal norm at the time.
The arguments for marrying young and for marrying later in life – or not at all – are justified. It”s easy to argue either way, but that doesn”t mean it should be argued at all.
Most couples spend a significant amount of time thinking about their future before deciding to marry. People outside the relationship should respect whatever decision they make.
A marriage – at any point in life – should be a celebration. Let the joy be.
Katelyn Hilsenbeck can be reached at [email protected] or on Twitter @Katelyn_mh