A guide to raiding the trash receptacles and curbs for treasure
It’s almost that magical time of year again when beautiful things start to pop up in parking lots, yards and along the streets.
I’m not talking about flowers or jorts or anything like that. I am talking about the discarded byproducts of collegiate moving.
We are entering the season of graduation, and like the great natural changes that cause majestic events like the migration of caribou or the monarch butterfly, graduation spurs a mass migration out of Moscow.
As our fortunate graduates leave their homes and jobs at fast food restaurants to go find homes and jobs at other fast food restaurants in a different city, they leave behind them everything that cannot fit into their cars, trucks or moving vans. Some of this stuff is what my mom used to call “junk,” but much of what they leave behind carries real value, or is at least pretty cool.
Here is a brief rundown of some of the items you can expect to find in and around dumpsters this time of year.
Bob Marley posters
Pretty much everyone has one of these, and it’s hard to justify the work of rolling yours up and figuring out how to pack it when you move. These have no real value, but if you found enough, you could conceivably paper your entire room with them. I feel like a wall covered in Bobs might get a little creepy though.
Mattresses
Who really wants to keep their college mattress? These will be readily available and abundant. Last year, I didn’t need to even go dumpster diving to find one, somebody just threw it on our yard. While it is tempting to say “Wow! Cool, a free mattress!” further consideration usually dissuades me from bringing the mattress inside. Instead, collect as many of them as you can and build a Nitro Circus style foam pit.
Xbox’s
When I was younger, an Xbox was the epitome of wealth and status. Now, they can be found in nearly every dumpster. Beware, many of them do not actually work. I moved into an apartment where the TV was supported by a tower of scavenged Xbox 360’s, none of which worked. You will grab it with the intention of fixing it someday, but let me tell you now — you won’t. Ever.
Office chairs
No one really wants to bring their chair with them, especially since they probably aren’t planning on sitting at a desk in their room and procrastinating. This means you should probably snag as many of them as you can. They are way more comfy than most dining room chairs and they are fun to swivel around in. At the very least, snag a few and race your friends down D Street.
We are entering a season of hope, of fresh beginnings and new discoveries. Go out there and expand your horizons, broaden your frontiers, leave no dumpster unturned and no curb un-searched. Go out and make another man’s trash your treasure, don’t worry, it will be your trash soon enough.
Cy Whitling can be reached at [email protected]