Previously in “Gossip in the Woods:”
“New humans from the clearing are playing hook the fish with a stick. Looks like the tall human caught a mini one,” Wolf said.
“I’m gonna sneak into their cave and see if they got anything good. You in, Bear?” Chipmunk asked.
Danlin Li | Rawr
Continued:
“I am kind of hungry, now that you mention it.”
Bear and Chipmunk snuck off into the clearing to look for some human food. Human food was always a treat. For one, you couldn’t find peanut guts in a jar or pre-squished berries out in the wilderness. Second, without fail, there was always meat that looked like short smooth sticks or round flat slabs of meat already cleaned from the carcass. One time, Doe found a huge wad of leafy green stuff and she said it was better than anything she had ever tasted.
After a while, Champ kicked at the water, causing it to splash all over the taller human. The movement scared all the fish away. Champ threw his fish stick onto the bank and splashed out of the stream with his front legs crossed. He shouted out some mumbo jumbo to the taller human and began walking toward the clearing.
“Oh craaap, they got to get out of theeeere!” Ram exclaimed out of nowhere.
“Go away, Ram!” they said. Ram hung his horns and clopped off again.
“Hawk, you can get to them the fastest and it won’t be that bad if they see you,“ Wolf said.
“Geez, OK, no matter if they see me. I’m just a stupid bird.”
She flew off toward the clearing. Wolf and Doe walked back to the big cluster of trees and waited for the rest to come back.
“Mutt.”
“Lunch meat.”
“Crap eater.”
“Dead meat.”
“Really? Is that all you got? Meat insults?” Doe quipped.
“Sorry, that was uncalled for. Instincts, what can I say?”
“I’ll give you two bucks if you can give her a little kiss without eating her,” Moose stepped through the trees and joined them.
“Two bucks? That’s a hefty bargain. I can only eat one at a time, so they would have to be on different days, but other than that you got a deal.”
“Ah, hell no. No one is licking my face and ain’t nobody is gonna eat nobody,” Doe interjected.
“What are you guys doing anyhow?” Moose asked.
“A couple of humans are camped in the clearing, but they went to hook some fish, so Chipmunk and Bear went to find food in their cave, but now Champ is heading back, so Hawk went to warn them and bring them back,” Wolf said.
“Well the humans are definitely back at their camp, but something else is going on, because they are grabbing boom-boom sticks,” Moose said.
All of sudden Chipmunk scurried up the nearest tree and Hawk flew onto a branch, folding her wings over her eyes. They could hear Bear growling as he ran toward them.
“Run! RUN!”
Moose backed up into the trees, trying to blend in and Doe pranced off deeper into the woods. Wolf hesitated and considered taking the offensive approach before he heard a loud bang and bolted into the trees.
Bear circled around and faced the two humans head on.
“Please, please don’t!” He reared up on his rear and waved his paws in the air. “I surrender! I’m sorry for taking your food!”
With a loud crack, everything went silent. Bear put his paws down and swayed with the evening breeze rustling the trees. Then he flopped on the ground, a big ball of black glossy fur. Another crack and Bear twitched. The humans approached and Bear didn’t do anything except bleed through his snout. The humans looked at each other and Champ gave a whooping sound. They wrapped their paws around each other and Champ jumped up and down.
“We did it, dad! On our first day! We got a bear!”
“I can’t believe it.”
“I’m sorry I said you were lame. You’re not lame, you’re the best dad ever! Holy moly, this guy is huge!”
“Let’s go back down and grab the tarp and ATV so we can drag him back down to the camp site.”
As the tall human walked off with Champ skipping alongside him, Hawk, Chipmunk, Moose and Wolf peered out of the woods and approached Bear.
“Well that’s bad luck,” Moose said.
“I feel kind of bad that I asked him to go get the food with me, ya know. ‘Cause this wouldn’t have happened if we would have just backed off and watched from a distance, but no, I just had to find out if there was anything good to eat from their cave, which there was. I mean, we found tons of stuff before …”Chipmunk’s chatter died off.
“He looks so … fake,” Hawk said as she pecked at the body for good measure.
“Maybe I should just tear off a leg or something. They won’t be able to eat the whole thing, right?” Wolf said.
“Nah, he’s a huge sucker. I think it’d be safe,” Moose said.
“Psst! Yo, you idiots, they is comin’ back so y’all better get out of there,” Doe warned them from a hiding spot in the cluster of trees.
They all slunk back and watched the humans roll Bear onto a blue piece of material and roll away on a strange looking animal.
“Aaaat least the kid looks haaaaaappy,“ Ram said.