Movie perpetuates misinformation about BDSM
“Fifty Shades of Grey” has been trending for a while now.
Many women confessed their love for one of the main characters, Christian Grey, a rich domineering man, and have swooned over his mysterious playroom full of blindfolds, whips and chains.
Jessy Forsmo-Shadid
On the surface, this all seems like a fantastic concept — a handsome, perplexing man. However, in this particular case, things are too good to be true. A controlling, abusive man who has no respect for consent doesn’t have my vote for sexiest man of the year. So why do women around the world want a Christian Grey over their shoulders?
Perhaps it could be because most women are expected to listen and praise men for their dominating personalities. We have trained ourselves to think excessive levels of control — like ones exhibited in this film — are sexy and romantic.
It also could be due to a lack of understanding of what BDSM actually is. BDSM is an overlapping abbreviation that stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission and sadism and masochism. It includes a wide range of erotic practices and allows people to experiment with their sexuality.
Either way, people are falling for Christian Grey, while the BDSM community is left feeling concerned about their portrayal. The book and the movie have made the community seem like it’s focused on the control and dominance over another person. It has created a misleading stereotype that one must be abusive and the other weak in order to be into BDSM.
BDSM does not rule out consent and safety. In fact, that’s the main point about the community. One must give consent, have safe words and a sense of comfort in what they are doing.
Women are falling for the fictional character of Christian Grey without considering the abuse he inflicted on the women in the story.
It should be concerning how many people flock to this character. Although movies like this don’t directly teach children about sex, with all the commercials and other publicity the movie has received, it’s sure to have an effect on how young women view sexuality.
Teaching young women about healthy sexual relationships is much needed. If anything, one needs to have respect. Respect for the word “no,” respect for being one’s own person and respect for safe words.
And though the book does talk about consent, it is not romantic when one doesn’t use safe words in order to please their partners. The book and movie asserts that one needs to push themselves past their limits then have the other person blame the victim of the situation.
If anyone decides to see “Fifty Shades of Grey,” make sure they know the relationship portrayed in the movie is not healthy. Please don’t go and try to find your Christian Grey.
Jessy Forsmo-Shadid can be reached at [email protected]