They’re only tired old sayings because they are true
‘Tis the season to kick off the holiday clichés.
As snow starts to pile up and Christmas carols fill the airwaves, we are reminded of the many tired old phrases that inhabit this season. While some readers may exercise their inner Grinch and try to steal our long hallowed mannerisms, we must resist. We must stand strong, dismissing them with a jolly “Bah, humbug.”
Shane Wellner | Rawr
We cannot let the ghosts of headlines past haunt us. We cannot bow to Jack Frost’s icy will. Yes Virginia, we will stand tall and proud. We will embrace our cliches and revel in them, we will make our weakness our strength and stand proudly upon it, like that Jolly old elf, Kris Kringle, perched atop a heap of presents! With this conflict in mind I bring you the college student’s 10 Days of Christmas.
On the first day of Christmas,
My teacher gave to me:
A final tha-at scared me.
On the second day of Christmas,
My mother gave to me:
Two frosted cookies,
And a final tha-at scared me.
On the third day of Christmas,
My adviser gave to me:
Three internships pending,
Two frosted cookies,
And a final tha-at scared me.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
My editor gave to me:
Four boring stories,
Three internships pending,
Two frosted cookies ,
And a final tha-at scared me.
On the fifth day of Christmas,
My best friend gave to me:
Five goofy snapchats,
Four boring stories,
Three internships pending,
Two frosted cookies,
And a final tha-at scared me.
On the sixth day of Christmas,
Don Verlin gave to me:
Six winning games,
Five goofy snapchats,
Four boring stories,
Three internships pending,
Two frosted cookies,
And a final tha-at scared me.
On the seventh day of Christmas,
UI gave to me:
Seven student loans,
Six winning games,
Five goofy snapchats,
Four boring stories,
Three internships pending,
Two frosted cookies,
And a final tha-at scared me.
On the eighth day of Christmas,
My college gave to me:
Eight snow days,
Seven student loans,
Six winning games,
Five goofy snapchats,
Four boring stories,
Three internships pending,
Two frosted cookies,
And a final tha-at scared me.
On the ninth day of Christmas,
My professor gave to me:
Nine group projects,
Eight snow days,
Seven student loans,
Six winning games,
Five goofy snapchats,
Four boring stories,
Three internships pending,
Two frosted cookies,
And a final tha-at scared me.
On the 10th day of Christmas,
All my teachers gave to me:
Ten final papers,
Nine group projects,
Eight snow days,
Seven student loans,
Six winning games,
Five goofy snapchats,
Four boring stories,
Three internships pending,
Two frosted cookies,
And a final tha-at scared me.
Through all the adversity Christmas can bring, stay strong. Make like a snowplow and push through. It won’t be too long until you’ll be throwing back eggnog and sugar cookies. Embrace the holiday cliches. You only get to use them once a year.
Cy Whitling can be reached at [email protected]