Stop making women into virgins or whores
“Well, if you say you haven’t, you’re a prude. If you say you have then you’re a slut. It’s a trap.”
Jessy Forsmo-Shadid
Ally Sheedy from the John Hughes’ movie “The Breakfast Club” couldn’t have said it better. The character in the movie was discussing something called the Madonna-whore complex, a term thought of by Sigmund Freud.
The Madonna-whore complex, also known as the virgin-whore dichotomy, is a double-edged sword. If women don’t participate in any sexual activities, then they’re a prude. If a woman chooses to participate in sexual activities, then she is called a whore or slut. There is no winning situation here. You’re damned if you do, you’re damned if you don’t.
Unfortunately, the dichotomy extends to a woman’s personality and the ways they express themselves. This constitutes how one carries oneself and how they choose to dress.
Choosing to dress in a style that shows off a little more skin or hugs the body could get someone thrown into the whore and slut part of the spectrum. If one chooses to dress more conservatively and walks around with their head downward, they are put in the virgin and prude spectrum.
Rape culture also goes hand in hand with the Madonna-whore complex. Because the dichotomy has a lot to do with personality, people make the assumption of whether someone is “deserving to be raped” depending on where they land in the virgin or whore spectrum.
With this, people also find it easier to believe someone who looks like or actually is a virgin when they say they have been raped. For those considered to be in the whore part of the dichotomy, people tend to think they brought their rape upon themselves. A lot of the time, the woman who was raped is even blamed for the situation because of how they acted or dressed.
Whatever category a woman falls into, it can effect how they are perceived if they end up being the nearly one out of five college-aged women who are sexually assaulted, according to the CDC. If the woman has had past sexual encounters, that could change how people think of her sexual assault compared to a woman who has not had any sexual encounters.
From victim blaming to lyrics from popular songs such as “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke, “I know you want it” is the reason rape culture and the virgin-whore dichotomy have such a strong connection.
The virgin-whore dichotomy and rape culture have been a part of our society for a while. Through each decade, though, the issue has shown itself a little differently.
At this time, music plays a big role in our lives. It’s hard for our society to consume a music video, such as “Partition” by Beyonce, without comments saying she is a skank or trying to remind Beyonce that she is a mother and shouldn’t act in such a provocative way.
The same goes for artists like Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj, Ariana Grande or anyone who has shown off their sexual selves. Because they are comfortable with their bodies and aren’t afraid to show that, our society deems them as whores, sluts or skanks. People are at the same time freaked out by women who show themselves off as sexual beings as they are drawn to them. Even artists like Taylor Swift — who is essentially the stereotypical picture of a virgin — get backlash because of the way they want to dress and act.
Either way, the virgin-whore dichotomy and rape culture in our society needs to disappear. Women are who we are as individuals and shouldn’t be thrown into the virgin-whore dichotomy.
Jessy Forsmo- Shadid can be reached at [email protected]