This is not another feminism column
The caricatured feminist is dead. The bra-burning, man-hating, mouth-frothing, perpetually angry cat lady stereotype is tired and outdated as, after decades of being a niche ideology, feminism finally breaks into the mainstream.
Hannah Shirley | Argonaut
The new face of gender equality is a much more modern woman. Emma Watson is empowering women on a global stage. Michelle Obama strives to be a model for girls everywhere. Beyonce is, well, being Beyonce. Even our own Chuck Staben said “Of course I’m a feminist, aren’t you?”
Feminism is a course our society needed to take, and it was a long time coming. Though we still have a long ways to go, it’d be tough to argue society hasn’t made huge strides forward in the last few decades — in the last few years, even. Now that the proverbial socio-political feminist ship has set sail, it’s time to start another conversation.
This one’s for the men.
It’s for the men who grew up in the same culture that tells women to look sexy — but not too sexy.
The culture where when a man slaps a woman it’s an outrage, and when a woman slaps a man it’s a punchline. The culture where we tell our girls to look pretty and laugh softly and we tell our boys that real men don’t cry.
Because boys are messy, strong, know what they want and jump first and apologize later. Boys will be boys, and boys who won’t are weak.
Objectifying men is that easy.
Emotion-shaming starts young. An endearing “Hey little slugger, look at how strong you are” in the crib is just the beginning of a man’s worth being defined by what they can do before anything else. There’s a reason the stay-at-home dad is perceived as shameful — when traditional gender roles are swapped, it’s not polite to talk about the man who doesn’t work to provide for his family.
Beyond that, harsh sanctions are imposed by society on those who are unfortunate enough to be unable to prove their masculinity. Under immense pressure to be bigger, tougher, more aggressive and more sexually dominant, many suffer quietly. The man who deviates even slightly from the ideal — who dares to be expressive, “emotionally messy” or in any other way “un-masculine” — are subject to any number of micro-aggressions by both men and women alike.
It’s no secret that men can be emotional, insecure and touched by beauty, no more than it is that women can be intelligent, ambitious and indecent.
And while I claim this column isn’t about feminism, when it comes down to it, it really is. Because feminism isn’t just about empowering women to look how they want, do what they want and be what they want — it’s about empowering men to do the same thing.
Our culture of shame has to end. This is something we’re realizing and something we’re beginning to discuss. Even in a “man’s world,” not even the men get off easy, and that’s not something we can afford to forget.
Hannah Shirley can be reached at [email protected]