Tips to birthday bar hopping like a boss
Birthday cards sent from family and the rain of Facebook well wishes on a 21st birthday are all nice, but the federal government always goes full rich grandparent with gift giving and eclipses those other trifle sentiments.
George Wood Jr.
Among the glorious bestowed presents is the right to enter gambling facilities that serve alcohol, the right to become a foster parent and the right to apply for a concealed carry permit of a firearm. However, the most anticipated gift by minors everywhere and arguably the right most flaunted by University of Idaho upperclassmen is the ability to purchase booze and hop into the bar scene.
I’ve never been a foster parent or applied for concealed carry, but I most certainly have hit the Moscow bar scene like U.S. soldiers hit Normandy in 1944. With those credentials established, I drop my endorsement: The bar crawl is one of the best ways to celebrate 21 years breathing and flex on all those bouncers who can no longer deny entry into bars. However, I think some consideration should be taken in order to create the merriest of drunken affairs.
Famous military strategist Napoleon Bonaparte once said “an army marches on its stomach.” Be there no mistake, the bar crawl is a battle. Eating a hearty breakfast and an adequate lunch on the day of the trek is critical to maintaining momentum. On a similar note, keeping hydrated with water should be a habit for every other drink, because the avoidance of waking up with a wicked hangover is worth a little bit of shade thrown at you by other patrons or the bartender.
The best experiences are shared with friends and the bar crawl is no exception. Wrangle up a tight squad of solid drinking partners for the trail. If so inclined, host a lunch or dinner and invite a larger party of friends and acquaintances to interact with while wearing the lenses of inebriation.
A pro tip is to designate someone to remain sober enough to keep the recklessness responsible, mitigate adverse situations and get the team across the finish line victoriously.
In the bars, I suggest keeping a closed tab. An open tab keeps the drinks coming, but most bars have a fat stack of debit and credit cards by last call because of people who unwittingly kept a tab open even after they left. One to two drinks, maybe a special 21st-birthday shot here and there, and nomad over to the next watering hole. The bar crawl is all about experiencing different parts of a culture newly discovered — so don’t be afraid to wander.
Finally, drink pacing is key. Most likely, the night will end at a sobriety level of zero. However, there is a difference between stumbling along, and ending up snow-shoveled out of a bar’s front door onto the pavement.
Throwing up, losing control and belligerence can take a good night in an embarrassing direction. Have fun celebrating turning 21, try to avoid the hangover and drink up.
George Wood Jr. can be reached at [email protected]