Moscow same-sex couples celebrate their marriage
University of Idaho College of Law Associate Dean Jeff Dodge said as soon as he heard the U.S. Supreme Court had lifted the stay on same-sex marriage in Idaho, he couldn’t wait to get to the courthouse.
“It was incredibly emotional,” Dodge said. “We didn’t even have time to call my parents — we just grabbed the baby and went, and we own a business in town, and we literally left it unstaffed. It was very impulsive, but we felt, we have to go now.”
George Wood Jr. | Argonaut
UI College of Law Associate Dean Jeff Dodge marries Mark McLaughlin in the company of their newly adopted son.
Dodge and his partner of five years, Mark McLaughlin, with whom he owns Moscow Wild at Art, were among the six same-sex couples who received marriage licenses in Latah County. Dodge said it was the second happiest day of his life, runner-up only to the day they adopted their son six and a half weeks ago.
“It was an amazing experience. We had him in our arms when we received our license,” Dodge said. “He’s going to grow up in an environment where with same-sex couples, it’s not a question about our legal rights. He’s seven weeks old — he will never have to question that his family is a family, just like anyone else’s.”
University of Idaho law professor Shaakirrah Sanders said Latah County was the only county in the state to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples after the Supreme Court dissolved the stay.
“It’s all purely procedural at this point,” Sanders said. “I think the stay was lifted in Latah because they wanted to lift it. How the prosecutor interpreted it was that technically there was no stay, and they could lift it.”
There was some confusion about the marriages that took place Friday, though. The turbulent week for same-sex couples in Idaho began Oct. 7 when the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals deemed the bans on same-sex marriage in Idaho and Nevada unconstitutional. But because Idaho Gov. C.L. “Butch” Otter requested an emergency stay — which was granted by the Supreme Court — and Nevada did not, the appeals court recalled its mandate so that marriages could proceed in Nevada while discussion continued in Idaho. When the Supreme Court lifted the stay Friday, it was unclear because of the recall how soon marriages could begin in Idaho.
While there’s still a chance the Supreme Court could review Idaho’s case, Sanders said it’s unlikely the state will fight the validity of the same-sex marriages that were officiated Friday in Latah County.
Sanders said same-sex couples will be eligible to receive marriage licenses again beginning at 9 a.m. Wednesday.
Dodge said despite the emotionally jarring events that transpired at breakneck speed in the court system last week, he can’t help but feel the debacle reached a happy ending — and now, he added, the vacation they’d been planning for feels like a honeymoon.
Though he admits the fight for marriage equality isn’t over in the U.S., Dodge said the tides have turned.
“Circuit courts have ruled that bans on same-sex marriage are unconstitutional,” Dodge said. “There are three more conservative circuits courts still to weigh in. If those circuits find they are constitutional, contrary to all the district and circuit court rulings so far, the Supreme Court will have a controversy on its hands … but right now, it’s not controversial. It’s been in one direction.”
As a law professor, Dodge said it can be hard watching the movement progress knowing all the intricacies, loopholes and avenues opponents can exhaust to fight marriage equality. However, Dodge said he remains optimistic.
“Same-sex marriage will be legal nationally,” Dodge said. “If not by next summer, then by the summer after that.”
In the meantime, Dodge said his only plans are to enjoy being with his husband and son and celebrating the year with friends, family and the community.
“Now, with a child we just adopted, it’s symbolic for him, and it’s important for the recognition of our family from a tax standpoint — there are just so many things,” Dodge said. “It’s validation that, not just emotionally we’re a family, but legally we’re a family, and that’s significant validation by our state that we’re entitled to rights just like everyone else.”
TabbiKat, humbled
Anyone who’s been to a TabbiKat drag show is familiar with the warning given at the beginning of each production — it’s succinct, it’s vulgar and makes it abundantly clear hateful behavior will not be tolerated.
“If you say fucking faggot, this foot goes up your ass,” the MC, decked out from head to toe in drag attire will say, holding up her stage partner’s stiletto-ed foot. “And if you say fucking breeder, my foot goes up your ass.”
Tabitha Simmons and Kathy Sprague — “Tabbi” and “Kat,” respectively — began hosting the drag shows in 1993 because Sprague wanted to do something for her 30th birthday to honor her high school friend who had died of AIDS two years earlier.
After 23 years of a committed relationship, Sprague and Simmons became the first same-sex couple issued a marriage license in Latah County. Simmons said the outpouring of community support was enormous.
“I’ve been stopped on the street by people I don’t even know who have hugged and congratulated me,” Simmons said. “It’s been so humbling. To create that atmosphere, we let it be pretty publicly known that if you are at the store, or at one of our parties or the drag shows, you are expected to treat everyone with respect and dignity, and be afforded that same courtesy.”
For many, the TabbiKat drag shows are their first introduction to the Moscow LGBT community, and sometimes, their first introduction to a community that’s accepting and open about each other’s identities and sexualities. It’s a community that means a lot to queer and questioning students who come to Moscow to attend UI, often from much more conservative areas.
Simmons said approximately 50 people came to the first drag show, and the two other shows the pair hosted that year saw a similar turnout. Since then, the productions have only grown — drag shows are now held once a month for a full house.
Together, Sprague and Simmons also own Safari Pearl, a local comic and costume shop.
“In our store, there are a whole lot of nerds, social outcasts and band geeks who come in and feel appreciated and validated, and it’s the same thing,” Simmons said. “Our store sells products that the trans community uses when they’re just beginning their process, and that’s something that helps them trust in us, and that just makes me feel incredible.”
Though their marriage is now legal, Simmons said not much has changed — in fact, she said after she and Sprague were finally wed, they went back to work.
“Kathy and I have been in a committed relationship that I considered to be the equivalent of marriage for 23 years,” Simmons said. “It does feel like a ton of bricks has been lifted off my shoulders, though, to know that I do have the protections afforded by legal marriage — to know that in the eyes of the law, I am finally married, and whether we like to admit it or not, formal legal recognition of your relationship and status and life is an important and affirming thing.”
Hannah Shirley can be reached at [email protected].