The office of The Argonaut is a mysterious and terrifying place to many outsiders, especially when they find out that everything is not as it seems. The Macs that decorate desks are really imps summoned from the Netherworld, and yes, we do have resident witch.
Danlin Li | Rawr
I would like to introduce you to the people behind the scenes. The real people.
Kaitlyn Krasselt
Our fearless leader, the editor-in-chief, is not all she appears. She summons demons to help her do all the jobs she has to do at once.
Krasselt is also responsible for turning our computers into imps … Or imps into our computers. I’m not sure how that one works yet.
Ryan “Rupert” Tarinelli
Rupert is a puppet master. He carries around Tom Brone and makes him sing all kinds of weird things. Then, he will get all voodoo on us and pull out some dark creepy jazz that sounds like he is somehow cursing us all to be frogs.
I’m also curious about him though, because he acts like a puppet sometimes. Is he controlling Tom or is someone controlling him?
I’m afraid if I ask, some dark curse will be cast on me.
Stephan Wiebe
The sports editor … There really isn’t much to say about Stephan. He writes, he’s a mime and he used to wrestle grizzly bears in Alaska. What he does say doesn’t come from his mouth, not since he took that theater class and it went horribly awry.
He never talks much about his past, but there are whispers in these hallowed halls. He was a world champion bear wrestler. He hasn’t confirmed or denied, but then again, he’s been trapped in an invisible box for a while.
Danielle Wiley
I heard that our radio editor, Danielle, used to be a rock goddess known as “Danny Phantom.” She won’t tell me if it’s true or not, and honestly, whenever I ask she just screams “yeaaahhhhh yeah yeah yeah yeahhhhhhhh!” So … yes? I guess she was a rock star in her early years, or in some past life, because I think she’s Buddhist too. Not sure how that combo works, but this is Danielle. She’s kind of wacky, maybe too much fun on her almost famous tours.
Aleya Ericson
She’s a witch. Plain and simple, no questions asked. Definitely a witch.
Every night she sits and mutters into her computer screen. The only problem is, whatever she is muttering isn’t English. Or anything that even resembles English. She just sits there and mutters incantations, probably summoning her familiar to conduct lightning quick Google searches.
Word around the office is she turned other prospective opinion editors into newts. No one has heard from them since.
Amber Emery
Little known fact about the news editor: she is gangster. A high class gangster just below the mafia, but a gangster none the less.
She has an underground, white-collar criminal organization. Ever seen “White-Collar?” Yeah, a whole passel of art thieves, forgers and con men. Amber is the group’s leader. She tries to deny any association with the group, but she always walks around campus dressed nicely. Professionally. She is just aiming to rip somebody off.
Andrew Jenson
Anyone who has seen Andrew knows that he has a cowboy hat, but what people don’t see are his moon boots. That’s right, Andrew is a space cowboy. He used to fly under Malcolm Reynolds before the accident happened with his ship, “Firefly.” His ship’s pilot was killed in action, and the crew still hasn’t got over it.
I think Andrew just worked in the engine room though. He disappears sometimes, and I wonder if he is going to crew meet ups.
Daphne Jackson
We have a witch, but we also have a wizard. Daphne is definitely a wizard, Harry, but not that kind of wizard. She does have some magical powers, but she only uses them to make tea appear out of nowhere or to make The Argonaut website look fantastic. She manages everything about our webpage, and I can only explain how she does it by using some kind of supernatural ability.
Katelyn Hilsenbeck
Katelyn is a dancer, and she does not deny it. Ask her next time you see her, and she will fess up. She might not tell you that she was a Russian ballet dancer though. She has performed “The Nutcracker,” in 14 different countries and has been the swan princess at least five times.
She might not admit to these little details, she seems rather modest after all. Or quiet. Maybe she played a mouse in “The Nutcracker.”
Korbin McDonald
I’m not sure what happened to Korbin over the years, but he seems to have lost interest in a lot of things. He is always monotone, and never seems too terribly entertained, even when he is announcing Mariners or Seahawks games. There is just no enthusiasm.
I heard he used to be all fun and games, but then a dementor took away his joy. I think people are just spreading weird lies though.
Erin Bamer
Rumor has it Erin is a gypsy, specifically a fortune teller. She is always saying weird things only gypsies would understand. Then she will go silent, staring off into the “Great Beyond,” before having a revelation.
The only problem is, she never says what she sees. Not in any clear language. She says things along the lines of “you will get stories today” or “I will get you a cookie.” Then, when something happens that she merely alludes to, she claims to have told us it was going to happen.
I think she’s a hack. Still a gypsy, but a hack.
Hannah Lynch
This one is a puzzle. At first, I thought she was just a hip artist. Then, I got to thinking about it, and started hearing things around town, of a masked crusader. When described, she sounds a lot like Hannah, but just with a mask and superpowers. Apparently, she is going by the name, “Indie Zine,” when out capturing criminals and saving all of Moscow. I hadn’t heard what her superpower is, but I will find out soon.
Me- Claire Whitley
I’m the newbie, so I’m just as confused as everyone else when I look at these editors. During the day, when anyone can walk into the office, they’re completely normal, but as soon as production night comes around, they turn into something crazy.
But it’s okay. I like crazy.