Out in Idaho — LGBTQ acceptance starts on campus, students speak about their experience

With a proposed bill in the Idaho Legislature that would effectively make it possible for doctors, teachers and business owners to discriminate against members of the LGBTQ community on the basis of “sincerely held religious beliefs,” coming to Idaho for school or work is something that might be frightening for many people who identify as LGBTQ. 

George Wood | Argonaut
University of Idaho students Eric Orosco and Nathan Austin have been dating for about three months. While Idaho is recognized as a widely conservative state, many organizations at UI strive to make the campus more LGBTQ friendly. Though not all Idaho universities are as welcoming according to some college students.

But changes for the LGBTQ community are not just seen in U.S. politics. Today, more college students are comfortable with their sexuality and have the chance to be themselves on campus.

University of Idaho students Eric Orosco and Nathan Austin said even though Idaho as a state seems to be against gay marriage, people on campus and of their generation seem to be more accepting. They said they feel free to be open about their relationship at UI.

Orosco moved to Idaho from Sacramento, Calif., and said that people in Idaho seem to be less informed than students in California. Orosco said high schools in California have Gay-Straight Alliance groups and programs, something unheard of in parts of Idaho.

“I wasn’t even sure how Idaho was … I knew I was coming to a state that wasn’t very accepting of gay marriage,” Orosco said. “It got to a point where my family and friends kept asking ‘are you going to be ok? Are you going to be safe?’ The first couple weeks on campus though, I was still not too sure.”

Idaho is well known as a conservative state compared to neighboring states — such as Washington, which legalized gay marriage in 2012.

Being LGBTQ in Idaho

While the University of Idaho campus contains many resources for LGBTQ students, not every university in the state is as welcoming, making some students wary of their decision to come to Idaho.

Lauren Armstrong, who identifies as pansexual, is a former student at Northwest Nazarene University — a private Christian liberal arts college in Nampa, Idaho and one of the more conservative campuses in the state. Armstrong attended NNU through October 2013. She said as freshmen, students living in the dorms are required to sign a “lifestyles contract” that includes regulations about homosexuality and rules about men and women living together while they attend NNU. Armstrong said free counseling was provided by NNU, but nothing was geared toward LGBTQ students.

“In my sophomore year, NNU brought in author and speaker Dale Kuehne to speak in chapel about how being gay was morally wrong and selfish,” Armstrong said.

Armstrong said chapel is mandatory for all freshmen and sophomore students attending NNU. She said NNU’s sister school, Point Loma Nazarene in California, recently denied a request to charter an LGBTQ group on campus. As a result, she said no one has attempted to form an ally group at NNU.

NNU students feel differently about LGBTQ issues than other college students, according to Armstrong.

“The students are generally open about their opinions, with the strong majority stating that being gay is wrong,” Armstrong said. “The professors are varied. There were a few I could go to and trust. One took me to coffee and a bookstore when I came to him … another invited me and my girlfriend to Thanksgiving dinner — if we had nowhere to go.”

Armstrong said that she did know of other LGBTQ students at NNU who had come out, but she didn’t speak to any of them.

“My junior year I lived with three other girls … this was before I was ‘out,'” Armstrong said. “A common conversation my roommates had is what we would do if one of us was a lesbian. My roommate said that she would be fine with it … I later found out she was pansexual. But my other roommate said that she would not be ok with it and that she would not want to live with that person … I had considered her my best friend and those remarks were incredibly painful.”

Armstrong felt the need to leave NNU and continue her education elsewhere, but other students in the state have had more positive experiences.

Carlos Negrete identifies himself as a gay man, and chose to go to the College of Western Idaho in Nampa, Idaho because of financial reasons. He said that being a gay man hasn’t affected his college experience at CWI very much.

“I do sometimes see the difference in how people react when they find out I’m gay and they change the way they talk to me — but it’s only been some students,” Negrete said. “I remember one time, I did a speech on gay marriage and it was incredible to see how much people didn’t know about the LGBT community and all the rights that we don’t have … I had people come up to me and tell me thank you for talking about this topic.”

UI senior Anthony Fillicetti, a member of Alpha Kappa Lambda, is a business marketing major and a gay man.

Fillicetti decided to come to UI after his parents kicked him out for confessing that he was gay. He said in general UI and his fraternity — which consists of two gay men and a bisexual man –have been welcoming.  He said he’s met a number of other LGBTQ students and faculty members.

“Being a gay guy in a fraternity in North Idaho, I have met a lot of people who have never met a gay person in their life,” Fillicetti said.

But he said even those who were opposed to LGBTQ rights, grew to change their minds.

“There were four guys from my house who were walking downtown one night and there was a drag show somewhere in downtown Moscow,” Fillicetti said. “They followed some guy who was verbally abusing this drag queen who was walking towards the show and they pulled him away from her and they were like, ‘Hey you don’t get to ever talk to somebody like that especially someone who is gay.’ These were guys who were like super opposed to gay people, until they got to know me and realized that gay people aren’t any different than other people. It was cool to see them defending someone in the gay community.”

Jesus Nunez, who identifies as gay, is a junior in his first semester at UI after transferring from North Idaho College. Nunez said that so far he has felt welcomed by UI’s campus.

“It’s not as bad as North Idaho … I still hear comments, not towards me but general comments people make without realizing it,” Nunez said. “I was really involved in the GSA over there too … if we had an event we’d have to go check at least once a day … to see if the posters we had put up were torn down … usually they were.”

Life after college

Between feeling welcomed on campus, making new friends or feeling the need to continue college somewhere else, these students all have a similar opinion about Idaho. Something needs to change.

“Going into an environment that is not to be as accepting and the challenges like going to job interviews … with coworkers and being social … trying to find a group that is like minded,” said Cynthia Mauzerall, a counselor at College of Idaho. “I’ve heard them say that they feel Idaho as a (state) is not as accepting.”

Julia Keleher, UI LGBTQA program coordinator, said it makes sense that students would be nervous about living in Idaho after graduation.

“That’s a fear most LGBT people face,” Keleher said. “We live in a homophobic, heterosexist society … our society as a whole, not just Idaho but the nation as a whole, there is discrimination happening on a daily basis … I think it’s comforting to be in an environment of welcoming and support.”

Keleher discussed her own fears coming to Idaho to work at UI as part of the LGBTQ community. Keleher recently proposed to her girlfriend and is now engaged.

“It’s my job to work with LGBT issues, but I think it’s very frightening leaving your comfort zone,” Keleher said.

Keleher and her future wife have yet to work out the finer details of their union, but she said it’s likely the pair will be legally married in Washington and live in Idaho. Keleher and her wife will be recognized as a legal union federally, but not by local laws.

“I have to find a way to make my partner open and have access to my accounts in case something happens to me … these are things that heterosexual couples don’t have to worry about,” Keleher said. “Also when we decide to start a family, there will be another set of boundaries that we’ll have to deal with.”

Armstrong is currently working full time for a cleaning company in the Treasure Valley after leaving NNU. She said being open in the workforce is just as challenging as it was in school.

“I don’t exactly go around wearing a t-shirt that says I’m a lesbian,” Armstrong said. “I prefer to keep quiet about it at work just in case. There is a chance that I would be denied hours or better jobs. I don’t lie exactly though. If someone asks if I have a boyfriend, I just say no and leave it at that.”

Negrete works with special needs kids and said he is in a similar situation in terms of being open about his personal life.

“At my job, if I know the family is religious or strong conservatives, I will stop myself from talking about my life and the people in it,” Negrete said.

Fillicetti said once he graduates in May, Idaho will not be the place he looks for work.

“I cannot wait to get out of Moscow,” Fillicetti said. “I am scared to leave and get out into the real world but not for those reasons … I’m leaving Idaho for sure.”

Nunez has only been an Idaho resident for five years, and said staying in Idaho might have a greater benefit for the state.

“I can see myself moving to a bigger city, maybe Boise or Washington … so far I don’t have any plans on moving out of state,” Nunez said. “Idaho is a place that needs a lot of change … I don’t see why we should leave somewhere that needs a lot of change, I would stay here and try to affect it in the most positive way.”

Danielle Wiley can be reached at [email protected]