You know about it, I know about it, everyone who isn’t living in a cave in Antartica knows the kerfuffle surrounding the Miley Cyrus/Robin Thicke performance at the MTV Video Music Awards this week.
While there are an almost endless number of issues I could address, from the slut-shaming, to the lyrical content of Thicke’s “Blurred Lines,” to the cultural appropriation and objectification of women of color, it’s time an equally important but less-talked-about aspect of this was addressed.
Billy Ray Cyrus.
In the days following his daughter’s performance, entertainment news organizations posted article after article, speculating about how Billy Ray would respond. There were several memes circulating Facebook of a sad-looking Billy Ray superimposed above the image of Miley twerking on Thicke. There was a meme on the front page of Reddit Monday joking that Billy Ray wished Miley had never been born because of her VMA performance.
Everyone wanted to know what Billy Ray thought of his daughter’s provocative display of sexuality on stage Sunday night, and everyone thought he should be horribly disappointed in his daughter.
News flash: Miley isn’t a Disney kid. She never will be and she probably never was in the first place. She’s 20-years-old, learning who she is and part of that is embracing her sexuality. Miley spent so many years as an impossibly shiny, scrubbed-clean, invented persona, that America can’t seem to understand a simple fact – everyone grows up. We all do.
Understandably, Miley is going to run headlong into the newfound freedom, trying desperately to shake off the shadow of Hannah Montana. She’s going to make silly decisions for a while, she’s going to express herself – including her sexuality – in ways that are the polar opposite to the image she undertook as a teenager. And there is nothing wrong with that. She’s just doing it on the public stage.
What is wrong is assuming that she wants, needs or should have the approval of her father as she figures out who she is. She doesn’t need to be protected, controlled or sheltered by her father. She’s an autonomous adult, not someone’s property. In light of things like this and the hundreds of “10 Rules for Dating my Daughter” memes that float around the internet, it would seem that women are still viewed, to even a small extent, as “under the charge” of the men in their lives.
When Billy Ray finally did do an interview and express his unconditional love and support for his daughter, there was a certain amount of shock and awe. As if his daughter’s behavior warranted some kind of public reprimand or disowning. But no. Instead, he did what any good father should. He offered words of support for his child who he probably recognizes is her own person, who makes her own decisions.
Kaitlin Moroney can be reached at [email protected]