Cancer
6/22 – 7/22
Go to the library and pick out a book this week. You could use some literary entertainment.
Leo
7/23 – 8/22
Look in the mirror. You see that boring, normal-colored hair? It could use some funky colors — dye it.
Virgo
8/23 – 9/22
Be a kid and watch some cartoons on Netflix this Saturday. They have everything from Sesame Street to Dexter’s Labaratory.
Libra
9/23 – 10/22
Take that old t-shirt you never wear and cut off the sleeves. It’s the middle of summer — sun’s out, guns out!
Scorpio
10/23 – 11/21
Be adventurous! Microwave an egg and see what happens.
Sagittarius
11/22 – 12/21
You should take up a new hobby. Perhaps rock collecting or car washing would do the trick.
Capricorn
12/22 – 1/19
It’s time to put away the ramen noodles and learn to cook. It isn’t that hard, and it’s a skill that will serve you well into the future.
Aquarius
1/20 – 2/18
When the sun goes down, you know what that means. Bedtime.
Pisces
2/19 – 3/20
You’ve spent too much time working this summer. Request a weekend off and spend it on the Snake River.
Aries
3/21 – 4/19
Good things are in your future. We have no idea what they are … but they are good.
Taurus
4/20 – 5/20
Sit on a park bench this week and enjoy the nice weather. Just watch out for the birds above your head.
Gemini
5/21 – 6/20
Stop saying “YOLO.” It annoys the rest of us.