Scorpio 10/23 – 11/21
We all know you’ve been listening to T-swizzle nonstop. Give it a rest — you’re still not getting back together. Ever, ever, ever.
11/22 – 12/21
Tickets for The Hobbit go on sale this week. You should probably stop ignoring societal norms and read the book.
Capricorn
12/22 – 1/19
Hopefully you voted. If not your toes may fall off.
Aquarius
1/20 – 2/18
Hold the phone. You’re not having hot flashes. They just turned on the heat on campus.
Pisces
2/19 – 3/20
Pinterest misses you. Give it some love.
Aries
3/21 – 4/19
Your family needs a Turkey for Thanksgiving. They’re depending on you … get hunting.
Taurus
4/20 – 5/20
The funny thing about the world is that it turns in a circle and all of this year’s days will come again next year. Halloween is over. It’s time to hang up your bedazzled bra and tutu.
Gemini
5/21 – 6/20
You have a little less than two months to get started on your New Year’s resolutions for 2012 before you will have failed yet again. Hop on it.
Cancer
6/21 – 7/22
Kick the leaves. Just do it.
Leo
7/23 – 8/22
Get your hippie on and dance like mad. The bunnies are coming.
Virgo
8/23 – 9/22
A very merry happy unbirthday to you. Left is right and right is left and down is up. Capish?
Libra
9/23 – 10/22
You smell like feet.
Kaitlyn Krasselt can be reched