Cancer
6/22 – 7/22
Walking to the beat of your own drum is great, but dancing to it is even better. Grab the drum and hit the streets. I’m sure everyone wants to see your interpretive dance to the entire Titanic soundtrack.
Leo
7/23 – 8/22
It’s not that your friends don’t love to see you emerge from your bedroom in full wizard regalia, they’ve just gotten used to it by now.
Virgo
8/23 – 9/22
Throwing elbows while in a crowd isn’t nice and neither is throwing pies. But one of these options definitely tastes better than the other. I’ll let you decide which one.
Libra
9/23 – 10/22
While you may be tempted to cover everything you own in cheeky bumper stickers, suppress that urge while visiting your best friend’s new baby. Put…the stickers…down.
Scorpio
10/23 – 11/21
You never thought that trying to find an outlet for your laptop at Starbucks would leave you in tears, but hey, at least you got a free scone out of it. Let the baristas take pity on you – that’s three bucks saved, my friend.
Sagittarius
11/22 – 12/21
Taking medical advice from a doctor is so overrated, go the natural way. Next time, simply ask the produce guy what to do about that little rash.
Capricorn
12/22 – 1/19
Take a hint from Progressive’s RocketCat: Stop and smell the snails once in a while.
Aquarius
1/20 – 2/18
You’ll benefit from getting in touch with your green thumb this summer, but be careful, you don’t want to accidentally cut if off with a trowel.
Pisces
2/19 – 3/20
It’s incredible that you’re spending your summer writing a novel, but it’s incredibly ridiculous that you’re making a Facebook page for each and every character. Stop before it’s too late.
Aries
3/21 – 4/19
Let’s just face the truth – not everything tastes good just because it’s on a pizza. Leave the licorice out of the picture.
Taurus
4/20 – 5/20
Making a name for yourself isn’t so hard, just continue to do what you love and don’t forget how to spell it.
Gemini
5/21 – 6/21
Have you ever wondered how the miniature and delicious Little Debbie snack cakes got their name? Wonder no longer, you’ll find out this week.