Servers are suffering in silence. It’s about time the secret custom of tipping was discussed.
Tipping is a cultural concept. It’s a knowledge people are expected to understand, but are usually never taught. The custom is riddled with taboos against talking about it, comparisons with others’ tips or joking about it. In fact, jokes to a server about tips are indications to expect a low tip because this shows a general lack of etiquette and respect for the custom.
Being from a non-tipping society where servers begin on a $12.50 per hour minimum wage, I thought a person would tip to hit on someone. It conjured up images of an old man trying to slip money to a young waitress in a short skirt. It’s fine to have different views and customs, but this unawareness becomes an issue when people, such as the approximately 650 international students, scholars and faculty on the University of Idaho campus, are not taught what to do. Tipping can then become an issue of unintentional prejudice, as poor servers trying to pay bills are restricted from saying anything to diners.
There are other cultural rules that stand to entrench this tipping mystery. Not talking about how much someone gets paid is one. If talking about income was not such a taboo, people would know servers in Washington get paid at least a minimum wage of $9.04 an hour before tips. However, if you are served at a restaurant just across the border in Idaho, servers doing the same job are likely to be paid $3 an hour. Subtract taxes after declaring tips and this equates to close to nothing. Therefore, approximately 90 percent of a server’s income relies on tips.
A common misconception is that the money you are tipping a server goes directly to them. However servers must then “tip out” the bussers, kitchen staff and bar, often more than 5 percent of the bill. So if a tip is below this amount, a server is literally paying to serve you out of pocket.
So how much, then, is correct tipping? Poor service generally means 10 percent, and servers view this as an insult. A standard tip for good service is 15 percent, and 20% or above is for excellent service. This is obviously dependent upon a number of factors other than quality of service.
A major factor overlooked is time. Tables are real estate. If a restaurant’s average turn for a table is one hour, and you spend three hours, you have essentially taken away two other tables and their income. Therefore, the tip should ideally be three times the amount.
Another thing servers have to grin and bear is when tables take out dissatisfaction with a restaurant on them personally. If a customer doesn’t like a steak and it has to be taken back, they will often tip 10 percent or less. However, from a server’s perspective, they had to work harder for the customer, and perhaps brought something out by their own choice to accommodate them. They had to re-check the steak and deal with the customer being upset and taking up more of their time. And then after all this they make no money.
People aren’t told these things. It pains me to hear tired, fed-up servers complain about having to serve Chinese or Arabic groups. To hear them wishing they could just enjoy serving and learning about other cultures, but they can’t help being frustrated with not being able to pay the bills. They are bound by unspoken rules of etiquette in which they can’t speak out — creating frustration that can build unfair stereotypes. Stereotypes can lead to racism. These little cultural misunderstandings are often the root of bigger, systemic issues of prejudice. And all because we don’t talk about it.
Tipping is a cultural concept. It’s a knowledge people are expected to understand, but are usually never taught. The custom is riddled with taboos against talking about it, comparisons with others’ tips or joking about it. In fact, jokes to a server about tips are indications to expect a low tip because this shows a general lack of etiquette and respect for the custom.
Being from a non-tipping society where servers begin on a $12.50 per hour minimum wage, I thought a person would tip to hit on someone. It conjured up images of an old man trying to slip money to a young waitress in a short skirt. It’s fine to have different views and customs, but this unawareness becomes an issue when people, such as the approximately 650 international students, scholars and faculty on the University of Idaho campus, are not taught what to do. Tipping can then become an issue of unintentional prejudice, as poor servers trying to pay bills are restricted from saying anything to diners.
There are other cultural rules that stand to entrench this tipping mystery. Not talking about how much someone gets paid is one. If talking about income was not such a taboo, people would know servers in Washington get paid at least a minimum wage of $9.04 an hour before tips. However, if you are served at a restaurant just across the border in Idaho, servers doing the same job are likely to be paid $3 an hour. Subtract taxes after declaring tips and this equates to close to nothing. Therefore, approximately 90 percent of a server’s income relies on tips.
A common misconception is that the money you are tipping a server goes directly to them. However servers must then “tip out” the bussers, kitchen staff and bar, often more than 5 percent of the bill. So if a tip is below this amount, a server is literally paying to serve you out of pocket.
So how much, then, is correct tipping? Poor service generally means 10 percent, and servers view this as an insult. A standard tip for good service is 15 percent, and 20% or above is for excellent service. This is obviously dependent upon a number of factors other than quality of service.
A major factor overlooked is time. Tables are real estate. If a restaurant’s average turn for a table is one hour, and you spend three hours, you have essentially taken away two other tables and their income. Therefore, the tip should ideally be three times the amount.
Another thing servers have to grin and bear is when tables take out dissatisfaction with a restaurant on them personally. If a customer doesn’t like a steak and it has to be taken back, they will often tip 10 percent or less. However, from a server’s perspective, they had to work harder for the customer, and perhaps brought something out by their own choice to accommodate them. They had to re-check the steak and deal with the customer being upset and taking up more of their time. And then after all this they make no money.
People aren’t told these things. It pains me to hear tired, fed-up servers complain about having to serve Chinese or Arabic groups. To hear them wishing they could just enjoy serving and learning about other cultures, but they can’t help being frustrated with not being able to pay the bills. They are bound by unspoken rules of etiquette in which they can’t speak out — creating frustration that can build unfair stereotypes. Stereotypes can lead to racism. These little cultural misunderstandings are often the root of bigger, systemic issues of prejudice. And all because we don’t talk about it.
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