As Halloween grows closer, there is one question that seems to be on everyone’s mind: What am I going to wear? Now when trying to answer this question there are a few options people usually take and one of those is sluttiness.
By this point you have seen it all: the naughty nurse, promiscuous pirate, seductive sailor and whatever other scantily-clad, unoriginal thread of a costume one might be able to dream up. The worst part of it is that for whatever reason we have allowed this kind of behavior to become completely commonplace. And as much as I hate to be the bearer of bad news, people are tired of you showing off the bottom of your butt-cheeks with your Halloween costume. It is not OK to dress like a prostitute simply because it is Halloween.
Now ladies, if you are saying to yourself, “But my voluptuous Viking costume is super cute,” then I have news — no it isn’t. You will probably succeed at finding some men who are interested in buying you drinks and hitting on you, but I’ve got a gut feeling that you can do far better than that. You are worth far more than you give yourself credit. Besides, chances are the man buying you drinks at the bar doesn’t really care about getting to know you.
Now fellas, if you are the man at the bar who sees the naughty nurse and says something like, “Hey man check out that totally hot chick, I’m going to buy her a drink,” there’s a better solution.
This Halloween, instead of buying women drinks to keep them warm, you could walk around with a big backpack full of sweaters. This time when you have the urge to buy scantily-clad females alcohol, instead you could give her a nice grandma sweater, because chances are she is probably developing a weird combination of hypothermia and pneumonia walking around mostly naked.
You will save a lot of money at the bars and you can get a nice sense of satisfaction for helping someone who can’t afford an entire Halloween costume. After all, the reason so many people think it’s a good idea to dress hyper-provocatively on Halloween is because you feed into that kind of behavior. Let’s break the cycle this year.
But if you all still want to continue this bizarre ritual of the low self-esteem, then by all means make your own decisions. But if this is the case, then I am going to politely ask you one simple question.
For the want of having a future generation that doesn’t think it’s OK to turn Halloween into a nudist colony, don’t go anywhere remotely close to where younger generations might be able to see you. You might have a poor shell of an excuse in saying that this behavior was modeled for you, but that doesn’t excuse modeling this type of behavior for others, especially children who are developing their own personalities and self-esteem.
Who knows where this strange ritual began between Halloween’s Celtic origins and now, but the Celts at least had the sense to wear animal skins and build fires. Seriously it’s cold outside, put some more clothes on. This year try coming up with a more original costume, even if it sucks you won’t look like a floozy.