How to maintain a healthy and strong Greek family
When getting a big or little, there can often be an expectation that your relationship has to be perfect.
As a big of three and with one hopefully on the way, I can say truthfully that every big/little relationship is different. Expecting that it will be perfect all the time will just lead to disappointment.
A “big” is usually an older fraternity brother or sorority sister. Your bigs are the people you look up to and relate with. They are the ones who remind you why you are in the Greek system in the first place.
Alexander Milles
Their bigs become your grand-bigs. Their grand-bigs become your great-grand bigs. Their other littles become your twins. Get the picture? This makes up a person”s Greek family.
Some littles are lucky and get a big that is everything they”ve ever wanted, but not everyone gets the Big they”ve been dreaming about. If this is the case for you, just try to keep an open mind and remember that they are your big for a reason.
No matter what the situation is with your big, you”ll always have a Greek family. My Greek twins have been some of my best friends.
Eventually, you”ll get a little of your own. Regardless of the situation, you can have an amazing Greek family if you put the effort into making it great.
The thing about a big and little relationship is that both sides need to try in order to keep the relationship thriving. To have a good relationship with your big or little, you have to remember to communicate with them. You need to spend time with them, whether that”s checking in on them every now and again or spending time with them in person.
In a big/little relationship, you support each other and have the guts to give tough love when the other one needs it. You should shower each other with encouragement and affection, whether that”s with a text message or a $5 Dutch Bros gift card. You give each other memorabilia that is decorated and personalized to your relationship.
In a big/little relationship, realize that it isn”t always sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes it”s hard. You can”t compare it to other relationships. Being in a big/little relationship is different every time. Sometimes in the relationship you will feel like you”re putting more in, usually because you are.
If you put emotional work into your Greek family, you will find a family away from home. You will begin to hate long trips away from Moscow and get excited when you head back.
To have a good Greek family, it”s simple: find comfort anywhere in your family, from your twins to your grand-big. While your big might not be there to give advice, your grand-big could also come in and save the day.
Try to have a family night with your Greek family somewhat often. Nothing can bond families together better than the sacred ritual known as family night. This can be anything from having dinner together at Buffalo Wild Wings to playing card games with each other in someone”s apartment.
One of the best ways I have improved my relationships with all the members of my Greek family is by communicating with them. This means keeping them updated on my life and letting them gently know when I have an issue, either with them or with the world.
Some great advice I”ve heard is when you”re angry at a member of your Greek family, one of the best things you can do is tell them why you care about them before telling them why you”re angry.
Each member of the Greek system controls what their experience means to them. It can be a blink in your life story, or it can be life-changing. From getting a bid to becoming an alumnus or alumna, you can make this experience wonderful, and a great opportunity to do that is by being a part of a Greek family.
Alexander Milles can be reached at [email protected]